Starting Over

“Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.” Psalm 51:12

I never have been much of an artist. It was years before I ever learned how to color in the lines. Nevertheless, I would try my hand at drawing from time to time especially when I was a kid. You know how it goes. You draw a little while, and you mess us. It doesn’t quite look right. No, it doesn’t even look close to right. So you erase some of it and try to redraw it. You mess up again and erase again.

Then after several cycles of messing up and erasing, your paper is beginning to tear up and get all wrinkled. So you decide to stop, wad up this disaster of a drawing, and start over again with a clean sheet. There’s just something inspiring about a new clean sheet of paper and the privilege of starting over again.

Sometimes living our lives is much like trying to draw. You really want to do it right and please God. You really do, but you mess up. You try to fix it, but you mess up again. After awhile, things are so out of sorts that it seems there’s no fixing it at all. You want to go back and start over, but you’re hesitant. You’ve started over before only to end up disappointing yourself again. You’re beginning to wonder if starting over is even possible for you.

If you’ve ever had such thoughts, then I have same good news for you. You can start over. It won’t be easy. Nothing that’s worthwhile ever is. But it works. And it will work for you if you’ll let it.

To begin with you need to start over for the right reason. Most of the time our attempts at starting over are doomed right from the beginning, because our reason for starting over is all wrong. Our intentions may have been good and our motives sincere. We really did want to start over well, but the thing that was motivating us was defective.

Here’s what I mean. Most of the time when we desire to start over, it is because we feel guilty about our failures. We know that we aren’t living exactly the way God wants us to live. And we know we ought to live better. Note the word “ought.” We ought to live better.

Of course, it’s true that God desires for us to live in ways that honor Him. But if the only motive we have for living this way is our guilt driven by our oughts, then we will fail. Essentially, all we have done is to reestablish the Old Testament law which is powerless to bring about lasting change. We have reduced our relationship with God down to keeping rules. However, none of us are successful at keeping rules. We may be able to do it for awhile. But the longer we go, the longer the list of rules grows , and the more burdensome it becomes. Eventually, we falter.

So if guilt is our only motivator for starting over, we are destined for failure. We need a better reason. And here it is. The love of God. God loves us. He really does. He loves us when we are keeping the rules, and He loves us when we aren’t keeping the rules. He just loves us.

The Bible says that God showed His love for us even while we were yet sinners. So we don’t earn God’s love. It’s a gift. He already knows we can’t keep all the rules. That’s why He sent Jesus, and He is doing everything He can to show you how much He loves you. Everyday you live, God is at work loving you. Your daily blessings are demonstrations of His love. Words of encouragement from other Christians show you His love. The fact that you are reading this blog post relates to how much God loves you. No matter where you are or what you are doing, God is at work to show you His love.

Therein is the right reason for starting over. God loves you so much it only makes sense to start over. Paul said in II Corinthians 5:14 that the love of Christ constrains us or controls us. So it isn’t the power of guilt that enables us to start over. It’s the power of God’s love.

Once we’re convinced that God loves us, we’re ready to start over. But then comes the question of what to do. Typically, we think that we need to get busy doing things for God. So we’ll knock ourselves out serving and giving, giving and serving thinking that this will keep our affections warm towards God.

But it doesn’t work. We just wear ourselves out and usually end up frustrated, tired and ready to throw in the towel again. I call it the Martha Syndrome. You remember the story of how Jesus was visiting in the home of Mary and Martha, and Martha was in the kitchen working her fingers to the bone while Mary was spending time with Jesus.

Martha, of course, is getting frustrated and angry that she’s doing all the work while her sister is just sitting doing nothing in front of Jesus. She thinks she’ll get the Lord to join her in scolding Mary for her laziness, but instead she ends up getting a strong rebuke and a powerful spiritual lesson. Jesus tells her that she is bothered by all the things she is doing for Him, while Mary has chosen the one most important thing that she or anybody can do and that is to be with Him.

Herein is the second big key to starting over. Once we realize that the right reason for starting over is the love God has for us, then we must come to understand that the right goal in starting over is to love Him back. We simply need to get to the business of loving God.

Think for a moment about the greatest commandment. There’s the Baptist version, and then there’s Jesus’ version. First the Baptist version. The greatest commandment for Baptists is to do so much for God that you run around with your tongue hanging out all day long and collapse at the end of the day literally worn to a frazzle. And in the end you get a ribbon or pin or something thanking you for burning the candle at both ends. Baptists aren’t alone in this, by the way.

Now Jesus’ version. You are to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind. You are to give yourself to the task of loving God and in the end you’ll be fulfilling the law and the prophets and will have the joy of knowing Him. Isn’t that exciting!

So what does this mean for us. It means that merely acknowledging God’s love is not enough. That would be selfish and irresponsible. We need to respond to that love by loving Him back. Then starting over will be a joy. Obeying God will come more naturally because of the quality of the relationship we’ve developed. So such things as coming to church, reading the Bible and talking to God is the right goal. Everything else will flow out of that.

Before moving on, let’s recap. We should start over because God loves us not because we feel guilty. And we should start over by loving God in return not by just busying ourselves doing religious stuff. Now the question is where to begin. It’s very important that we don’t jump the gun here and start the wrong way.

The fact that we need to start over indicates that something has gone amiss in our relationship with God. We have allowed unholy habits, bitterness, resentments or some other sin to block our way to enjoying fellowship with the Lord. Unless those roadblocks are removed, we will simply not be able to receive from God the fullness of His love nor will we be able to give our love in return to Him. Something has to be done with what caused the breakdown in the relationship.

There is only one thing to do with sin. Take it to Jesus and find forgiveness. One of the greatest verses in the Bible is I John 1:9. That verse tells us that if we are willing to confess our sins to Him that He is willing to forgive us and cleanse our lives. That means that if we can take the responsibility for the breakdown in our relationship with Him and quit blaiming it on everybody else and confess it to God, God has the power and the desire to completely and totally remove every sin from our lives and reestablish the channel through which the love flows between us and Him.

Perhaps you are needing to start over. You tried to draw your life but have messed up along the way. You may have tried to start over but did it for the wrong reason or didn’t have the right goal in mind. Or perhaps you tried to start over without dealing with the roadblocks of sin that have hindered your relationship. Whatever the case maybe, the God who loves you is offering you an opportunity to start over – a clean sheet of paper if you will. Take it. Start over. Let this be the beginning of a new and better year.