On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jewish leaders, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you!” After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord…. Now Thomas (also known as Didymus), one of the Twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.” John 20:19-25
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name Thomas? If you’ve got preschoolers, it might be Thomas the Train. But I’m thinking of the biblical Thomas. When we hear his name, the first thing that most of think is something like, “the guy who doubted Jesus.” Despite the fact that he was an apostle who helped establish and safeguard the early church, all we ever remember of him was one moment of weakness. As a result, he is forever known as Doubting Thomas.
It’s little wonder then why we’re so squeamish when it comes to talking about our doubts. Even though there are times when doubt really grabs us by the throat and threatens to choke the faith out of us, we don’t want to tell anybody. Instead we suffer in silence and just hope that somehow we can pretend our doubts away. But the truth is we can’t. So the doubts just linger, hiding in the dark corners of our hearts waiting for those unexpected moments to ambush us with another assault of questions and uncertainties.
Perhaps you’ve been there. Maybe you’re there even now. Yet like a closet alcoholic, nobody knows. Nobody knows your nagging doubts. Nobody knows your haunting questions. Nobody knows that there are times when you question even the basic issues of your faith. And as far as you’re concerned, it’s going to stay that way. You’re not about to let anyone call you a Doubting Whoever.
Because this is an issue that plagues many believers, I want to seek to bring some understanding to the process of doubt based on Thomas’ story. If we can better understand how doubt works, we’ll be in a better position to deal with it.
Doubt attacks even the strongest believers.
While we may assume that only folks with weak faith battle doubt, we’re wrong. The truth is that even strong believers battle doubt from time to time just like everybody else who seeks to follow God. The reason we don’t know this is due to the fact that we don’t often talk about our doubts in Christian circles. So we just assume that other believers especially Christian leaders don’t have the doubts we do.
To the contrary, I read where a well-known Christian radio personality was struggling with the value of praying after learning that one of Billy Graham’s daughters got a divorce. That happened despite the family’s prayers. He expressed his doubt this way, “If Billy Graham’s prayers don’t get answered, what’s the use of my praying?”
So rest assured that if you’re struggling with doubt, you’re not alone. It’s far more common than we think.
Doubt often comes on the heels of great losses and traumas.
That’s exactly what happened to Thomas. He like the rest of the disciples had witnessed the crucifixion of Jesus. That alone was enough to rattle the cage of even the staunchest believer. And now they were fearing for their own lives. Peter had denied that he even knew Jesus. And all of them were hiding not really expecting the resurrection even through Jesus had promised it. It’s no wonder that Thomas was so skeptical.
The same thing happened to John the Baptist. At the beginning of Jesus’ ministry he was boldly announcing that Jesus was the Lamb of God who had come to take away the sins of the world. Yet while in prison under the threat of death, doubts began to creep in. And this same John sent some of his friends to ask Jesus if He really was the one or should he be looking for somebody else. Life took a difficult turn, and doubt was waiting for him just around the corner.
This is a good reminder that we aren’t usually full of doubt when things are going well. When our prayers are being answered, our marriage is going great, our kids are doing fine, and our job is bringing success, we usually don’t battle doubt very much. But when the hard times come, when our prayers aren’t being answered, when the family is under great stress, or when our personal life is coming apart at the seams, that’s when doubt can really rear its ugly head and take a swipe at our faith.
Doubt tempts us to isolate ourselves from the community of faith.
When Jesus first appeared to the disciples, Thomas wasn’t there. Perhaps he was just running an errand and simply missed Jesus’ visit. But maybe there was more to Thomas’ absence than meets the eye. Maybe he wasn’t there, because he didn’t want to be there. Those who have ever battled doubt can understand just how real of a possibility that is. When you’re struggling with doubt, there’s a tendency to want to put some distance between yourself and the people of faith.
It’s strange how it works. When you’re really going through it, it’s hard to be around people who are full of faith – to hear folks who are confident in their prayers and who feel close to God. It makes you feel like something’s wrong with you – like you have a neon sign hanging around your neck blinking off and on “doubter” “doubter” “doubter.” And you just can’t take it.
Of course, in our better moments we know that being around the people of faith is good for us. It helps us to get a new perspective and not give in to our doubts. But when the doubts are flying, we have a hard time remembering it. We want to run. We want to get away from anything that reminds us of just how shaken we are on the inside.
Doubt hinders our ability to receive truth.
When Thomas returned to the group, he was immediately told about Jesus’ unexpected visit. The very same one who was crucified just days before had now appeared alive in front of them. It was great news. You would have thought that Thomas would have rejoiced at the announcement. After all, Jesus had told him and the others that this would happen. There was no reason to doubt His word or the word of his fellow disciples. But he did.
Because of the present state of his spirit, he simply could not muster the faith to believe. I’m sure part of him wanted to believe. But he concluded that unless he could see it for himself and actually touch the nail holes in Jesus’ body, he just couldn’t accept it.
Is that you? Are your doubts hindering your ability to receive the truth? Is there a part of you that wonders if there even is any truth? If so, I’m not going to condemn you. I simply want to encourage you not to give up. There is a truth that can help you with your doubts. But you’re going to have to open your heart to risk the journey to find it.
This will be the topic of my next post. Until then, don’t give up hope. There is a way to strengthen faith in the face doubt.