The Daily Task of Denying Yourself

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Matthew 16:24

The words of Jesus to deny self are not new to most Christ-followers. As a group, the majority of Christians believe them. After all, Jesus said them. But when it comes to the personal application of these words, more than a few believers feel like a deer caught in the headlights. Although we know that these words aren’t like the fortune cookie message that we read and promptly discard, we still don’t know what to do with them.

Some might think that Jesus means that we aren’t to allow ourselves pleasures such as an extra slice of pie. While limited our pie consumption has value, surely Jesus has more in mind than an adjustment to the menu. Likewise, others might conclude that Jesus is suggesting that we should quit doing the things we want to do (deny ourselves) and start doing what we don’t want to do (take up our cross.) But an appeal to asceticism hardly squares with Jesus’ invitation to abundant living. So what does it mean to deny self in practical terms?

Perhaps the best way for me to answer this is to give some examples in everyday life where many of us aren’t denying ourselves.
• leaving our shopping cart in the space next to us because we have too much to do to put in the corral 20 feet away
• taking up more than one space in the parking lot because we don’t want our car to get a scratch
• hiding the hotel luggage cart in our room over night so that it’s available when we’re ready to check out
• paying someone to move us to the head of line so we don’t have to wait any longer
• acting rudely to a bank teller or restaurant waiter because their service doesn’t meet our exacting expectations
• manipulating, shaming, and pushing others to do what we think they should do

The examples above are just some of the many ways we express a self-oriented approach toward life. Left unchecked, it deepens. We develop an entitled mindset, because we are so used to getting what we want, when we want. Sadly, we can get so accustomed to operating this way that we don’t even see it as a tragic departure from the life Jesus calls us to live.

So one of the ways to think about denying self and taking up one’s cross is to intentionally challenge, to put to death our self-oriented attitudes about life. Perhaps we could intentionally park further away from the grocery store door to leave closer spaces for others. Or we could choose to stand in the longest checkout lines in the store. Or maybe we could offer a word of appreciation to those who serve us even if we don’t particularly think they did a good job.

Whatever the case may be, putting our self-oriented ways of living to death isn’t easy. It’s just needed. For how can we follow Jesus if we aren’t even trying to deny ourselves and take up our cross?