Getting Underneath Our Anger

But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger, for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God. James 1:19b-20

What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? You lust and do not have; so you commit murder. And you are envious and cannot obtain; so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. James 4:1-2

Road rage. Mass shootings. Domestic violence. Racially based riots. These things and others like them are a tragic part of life in America that are only getting worse. There can be little doubt but that many factors contribute to each of these incidents. But they all have one thing in common – uncontrolled anger.

Anger is a natural human emotion that has its place when channeled properly. For instance, Jesus became angry at the money changers in the temple who were extorting worshipers for their own sordid gain. But what we’re seeing before us is something very different. And I’m not just thinking about the more sensational expressions of violence that we see on the news. I’m also including the everyday expressions of unholy anger that take place in our homes, our churches, our schools, and more.

So what’s underneath our anger that’s fueling these emotional outbursts? A boy found the answer to that question in dramatic fashion one day when he asked, “Dad, how do wars begin?” “Well, take the first World War,” said his father. “That got started when Germany invaded Belgium.” Immediately his wife interrupted him. “Tell the boy the truth. It began because somebody was murdered.”

The husband feeling slighted by her rebuke, snapped back, “Are you answering the question or am I?” Turning her back on him in a huff, the wife stormed out of the room and slammed the door as hard as she could. When the dishes stopped rattling in the cabinets, there was a moment of uneasy silence in the room. Finally, the boy spoke, “Dad, you don’t have to tell me how wars begin. I know now.”

It was this very kind of thing that prompted James to put a finger on the primary problem that’s underneath our anger – self-orientation. We want life to be the way we want it to be, and when it isn’t, we get angry. Therefore, our anger is often an attempt to get control of the situation so that we can either make things the way we want them to be or punish those who are hindering us from satisfying our expectations. James continued his comments by indicating that our anger-based envy leads us to fight and quarrel. Again, all of it points back to a self-oriented life. Any anger that flows from it can never achieve the righteousness of God.

So what’s your anger like? What tends to push your buttons? How do you react when you feel slighted? You will need to spend some time with this. Our self-orientation will do everything imaginable to justify our unrighteous anger. If we allow it to continue, we will not only see further erosion of our own spiritual vitality, but we will also see the ongoing damage done to those who are left in the wake of our uncontrolled anger.

However, if we are willing to face our self-oriented ways and see the damage that our anger is doing, we then can turn to God and ask for Him to give us what we really need: more contentment, more thinking of others and less obsession with ourselves.