A Soul Checkup – Gentleness

The fruit of the Spirit is … gentleness… Galatians 5:23

Gordon MacDonald shared the following story about visiting a small group of men and women affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. MacDonald said that he visited the group because he has friends who are recovering alcoholics, and he wanted to see for himself what they were talking about. Here’s what he found:

One morning Kathy—I guessed her age at 35—joined us for the first time. One look at her face caused me to conclude that she must have been Hollywood-beautiful at 21. Now her face was swollen, her eyes red, her teeth rotting. Her hair looked unwashed, uncombed for who knows how long. ‘I’ve been in five states in the past month,’ she said. ‘I’ve slept under bridges on several nights. Been arrested. Raped. Robbed (now weeping).  I don’t know what to do. I — don’t — want — to—be—homeless—any more. But (sob) I can’t stop drinking (sob). I can’t stop (sob). I can’t.’ 

Next to Kathy was a rather large woman, Marilyn, sober for more than a dozen years. She reached with both arms toward Kathy and pulled her close, so close that Kathy’s face was pressed to Marilyn’s ample breast.  I was close enough to hear Marilyn speak quietly into Kathy’s ear, ‘Honey, you’re going to be OK. You’re with us now. We can deal with this together. All you have to do is keep coming. Hear me? Keep on coming.” 

And then Marilyn kissed the top of Kathy’s head. I was awestruck. The simple words, the affection, the tenderness. How Jesus-like. I couldn’t avoid a troubling question that morning. Could this have happened in the places where I have worshiped?  Would there have been a space in the program for Kathy to tell her story? Would there have been a Marilyn to respond in this way?”

This is what Paul had in mind when he indicated that one of the aspects of the fruit of the Spirit is gentleness. The word can also be translated as meekness. It conveys a strength of character that is safe to be around. With that in mind, I want you to imagine with me what Marilyn might have said or done if she was without this wonderful spiritual trait.

She could have simply sat there in stone silence and allowed this woman to drown in her brokenness. She could have said something like, “Look, you just need to suck it up and get over yourself.” She could have attacked her by pointing out that it would only get worse if she kept on drinking. She could have done a lot of things like that, but she didn’t. Why? She had a gentle spirit.

I’m struck by MacDonald’s final question. If this woman had shared her pain in some of the places where he had worshiped, “Would there have been a Marilyn to respond in this way?” That question leads me to an even more troubling question. Would I have been a Marilyn to her? Perhaps. It would all depend on where I was in my own walk with God.

If I was allowing the Spirit to redeem my own areas of brokenness, then I would be more likely to respond in a gentle manner. But if I had any hint of pride in my soul or any notion that I was better than this troubled woman, I would have been more like a porcupine with her. Instead of providing a safe, welcoming space, I would be poking her with my sense of spiritual superiority.

If that happened, two people would lose. The woman would lose, because my actions would only drive her further in the bottle that was already destroying her. But I would lose too. I would miss out on the joy of being used by God to pass along the grace of a gentle Savior.

Lord, help me to have gentleness in my soul.